By Evan Page

Recently, I was with a group of women when we started talking about some of the challenges that come with being a mom. Some days nothing goes right, and your kids are surely Satan’s spawn. Other days, it’s like your children are angels from above. This day happened to be a not-so-hot one for this mom, and we all could relate. After a quick venting session about her morning, another mom said casually, “Can you imagine how easy it must have been to be Jesus’ mom?” Everyone laughed, and we continued in our conversation.

But that comment has never left me. Although I know what my friend’s intentions were, I couldn’t help but think about how we, as moms, have a habit of blaming our kids for our own sin. Or our spouse. The reality is, whatever is in us, is what is going to pour out to others, especially to those who are constantly around us.

Here’s an example I heard that has never left me. Say you’re carrying a cup of coffee, and someone bumps into you. For the sake of sticking to the theme, let’s say it’s your oldest child. They run off, not even noticing, and there is a giant mess of hot coffee all over your freshly cleaned floors. If I were to ask you, “Why did coffee spill from the cup?” You would most likely say because someone bumped into you. But the reality is, coffee spilled from the cup because coffee is what was in your cup. No matter how hard you try, milk wouldn’t fall out of that cup unless it was filled with milk.

Likewise, what flows out of us is an overflow of what is in us. We are sinners; therefore, we sin. Someone else doesn’t make us sin. Their actions or words, or lack of, may provoke it, but ultimately, we are making our own choices. And if we want our children and our significant others to take ownership of their sin, we have to do the same.

I don’t say all this to beat us moms up. I say all of this because when I take a minute to think about that, it gives me the ability to allow for my response towards my kids to be loaded with grace instead of anger and impatience. There are times when I stop and realize that my response to my children is the sin—not their actions. Especially when they’re little. Most of the time, our children might not know better, and it is our job to teach them.

I do think there are scenarios when being Jesus’ mom would have felt nice. But ultimately, I don’t think it would’ve been easy. Nothing in motherhood is ever really easy. It’s important that we show ownership in our sinfulness, apologize and ask forgiveness when it’s needed, and be an example to our children of what it looks like to pursue a true relationship with God. I pray that what comes out of us is nothing short of the love and grace that God shows towards us.

Evan Page lives in Hilton Head Island with her husband, Stephen, and their three children, Merrick, Wake and Wells. She is currently a stay-at-home mom, and most of her days are filled with trying to capture adventures with her children on camera.