By Evan Page

Disciplining our children isn’t always easy, but unfortunately, it is a necessary part of our job as parents. But where do we even start? Some days it doesn’t seem too challenging while other days it feels as if we are constantly coming up with tactics just to make it through the day. When my oldest son was really young, I was in a moms’ group when I heard a mom mention “the three D’s of discipline.” So I thought I would share. The three D’s are a great way to keep our minds in check when it comes to knowing when and what to discipline for. It also helps our children know where our standards lie. So, here goes!

1. Disobedience

This is one of the most obvious reasons for discipline. If you ask/tell your child to do something and he or she deliberately refuses, they are choosing to be disobedient. It’s important to note what disobedience is not. For instance, when my son was in the potty-training stage, I walked outside one day and saw him doing his business. My initial reaction was to laugh, but I definitely didn’t want him doing this at the park. So I thought to myself, “He should have to sit out. This can’t happen when we’re out in public!” But then I realized I had never talked to him about appropriate places to go to the bathroom. I hadn’t explained it to him yet.

I also encourage my children that choosing to be obedient is hard. I would love to not discipline my children, but I should obey God just like they should obey mom and dad, which is ultimately them choosing to be obedient to God.

2. Disrespect

This is when a child shows a lack of courtesy or kindness toward someone or something. I always encourage our children by saying, “respect yourself, respect others and respect belongings.” This is a pretty inclusive bubble that gives me an opportunity to talk about how God created everyone and everything, and by showing respect, we are telling God thank you for the world that surrounds us.

3. Dishonesty

If you have younger kids, this is a hard one to teach, but it definitely needs to be taught. Being dishonest means a child is intending to mislead someone or behaving in an untrustworthy or fraudulent way. Lying, cheating and stealing are all included. I try to encourage my children that it is important to be honest because it allows God to know that He can trust us. And in the end, it is His trust that we are ultimately striving for. Matthew 5:37 is a good verse to help us acknowledge that our word should be good enough.

Disciplining children is hard. But like I mentioned before, it’s also very biblical. By taking a look at the three D’s, it will help you organize your thoughts and actions in regards to discipline. It also will help your children understand where your standards are, so they aren’t surprised or shocked when you discipline them.

Evan Page lives in Hilton Head Island with her husband, Stephen, and their three children, Merrick, Wake and Wells. She is currently a stay-at-home mom and most of her days are filled trying to capture adventures with her children on camera.

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