By Donna Brooks

 “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” – Deuteronomy 31:8 (NLT)

“You may have a brain tumor,” the doctor said to me during what I thought would be a routine eye exam. I burst into tears and phoned my husband to meet me at the hospital, where the doctor had scheduled a CT scan. I was 32 years old and the mom of a three-year-old when life came crashing down on me that day.

After multiple spinal taps, brain scans and blood tests, I was diagnosed with pseudotumor cerebri, also known as intracranial hypertension. In other words, I had elevated cerebrospinal fluid around my brain and optic nerves, which causes pressure and brain tumor-like symptoms­—headaches, blurred vision, nausea—but without an actual brain tumor.

As you can imagine, I was so relieved that I didn’t have a brain tumor, but the bad news was that my condition could possibly lead to blindness. I went through more testing, but the doctors never found the cause for why I had this. I was placed under the care of a neuro-ophthalmologist, who monitored my symptoms and my vision every three months or so. Finally, after ten years, the condition just went away, and fortunately, I still have my vision. 

I don’t know for sure why this happened to me or why the condition eventually went away. I like to think that God was trying to get my attention (which He did!) and was drawing my wayward self back to Him. But one thing I do know for sure is that when life came crashing down on me, God was there. He was providing for me during those dark days, sending people to help me­—like my brother- and sister-in-law who, having just moved to our area at about the same time as my diagnosis, watched my daughter while I was in and out of the hospital; and my sympathetic boss who was so flexible with my work schedule; as well as my co-workers who always told me jokes and kept my spirits up (they especially liked looking at my brain scans and marveling that I really did have a brain in my head, haha). 

Right now, with the COVID-19 virus going around and it feels like life is crashing down, you may ask where God is in all of this. The answer is: He is right there, drawing you near, providing for you, and sending people to help you. Talk to Him. Tell Him about your fears and know that you can always trust Him.

Donna Brooks is a freelance writer and editor and the owner of Red Clay Editorial Services in Bluffton, South Carolina. In her free time, she is an avid runner, reader, photographer and traveler.