The Sum of Who We Are
By Evan Page
(First blog post in a series about habits)
Our lives are the sum of our choices. Some of these choices are conscious, while others are unconscious. But either way, they’re choices. And, once they are made consistently enough, these choices become habits. For better or worse, we become a product of the choices, and ultimately, the habits we have created.
Take, for example, putting on your pants. You probably don’t realize it, but I’m betting money on the fact that you put the same leg in first, every time, without even realizing it. If you look at my three-year-old, half the time, he still has to sit on the ground before he can get to that step. He’s unaware, but the decisions he makes now, even with something as simple as getting dressed, will forever be the way he chooses to get dressed in the future. Because believe it or not, he’s slowly creating what will one day be an unconscious choice: a habit.
We often think of the word habits in a negative way. Bad habits such as nail-biting, smoking, and leaving up the toilet seat immediately come to mind. But not all habits are bad—brushing your teeth, drinking water, and exercising are all good things to do. These habits—good or bad—are choices that we repeatedly make until they become an unconscious decision.
I often smile when I hear people say, “I have no idea how I got here …” because the reality is, they probably don’t. Somewhere along the way, they looked up and realized that whatever is going on wasn’t what they had pictured—whether it’s positive or negative. And if we aren’t actively seeking to make choices, and potentially habits, that align with what we want in life, we’ll wake up one day wondering how we got to wherever it is that we are.
I know it’s a simple concept—this idea that our life is basically a sum of choices and the habits we create. But it’s monumental because of the mindset we can choose to have about life because, ultimately, any habit is something you can create or negate. If you want to be healthier, you can find out what that looks like and make an action plan to get there. Then you can make one choice in a healthy direction after another. It’s not easy, but eventually, you will see that your life has become an accumulation of healthier choices until you get to the goal you want. If you want to stop smoking, you make one choice after another to get you there. It could be something as simple as telling yourself that it’s not a good time for a cigarette, and, eventually, you will see that more time lapses before you give in to the craving.
Just remember, whatever habit you have that you want to get rid of, or whatever habit you want but haven’t attained yet, doesn’t have to be that far out of reach. And next time you have a minute, think about the basics of creating a habit and how many simple choices have made you into the person that you are today.
(If you’re looking for a really good read on this topic, I highly recommend “Atomic Habits” by James Clear. It won’t disappoint.)
Evan Page lives in Hilton Head Island with her husband, Stephen, and their three children, Merrick, Wake and Wells. She is currently a stay-at-home mom, and most of her days are filled, trying to capture adventures with her children on camera.