By Amber Swinehamer

Everyone has a unique story or path to the beginning of their faith journey. I was later than I care to admit sometimes to the “Jesus party,” but it all came together in time. I was hesitant to open my heart to the Father because of all of the baggage I carried from mistakes in my past—missteps, poor decisions, sin—all things I thought made me unlovable. I figured if I could just get my life right, do enough to right my wrongs, then maybe, just maybe, then I could consider looking into the possibility of becoming a Christ-follower. I didn’t know at the time just how wrong that train of thought was.

In Mark 2:15-17, Jesus was eating dinner with sinners. This made onlookers uncomfortable. Why would Jesus surround himself with these people and not people of higher esteem? Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” 

I so appreciate Jesus’ ability to bring things down to my level to help me understand them (huge fan of parables here!).  It turns out that because of my baggage, because I am human, I need God’s grace.  If I were perfect (which I never will be, and there is nothing I can do to repay the debt that Jesus paid for me when He died on the cross), I wouldn’t need salvation. Once I finally accepted that and learned that God not only had a plan to save me from that baggage eternally and that He also wanted to help alleviate my burdens while I am on Earth, I started opening my heart. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

There’s room for everyone, regardless of your past. I’m a mother of two boys, and I’ve thought about it this way, too: If either of them were to be in some kind of trouble or make a mistake, I would rather they come to me for help than keep a distance from me because they were afraid I would be mad or love them less.

If the feeling that you’ve got too much baggage or that you’re too ashamed of your past is what is holding you back from coming before the Father, rest assured that you are not the first nor will you be the last who has felt that way. Lean into God’s amazing grace and know that He loves you despite your imperfections and offers you refuge and so much more if you open your heart to Him.

Amber Swinehamer is a stay-at-home mom and resides in Bluffton, South Carolina, with her husband David and two sons. In her free time, she enjoys traveling, live music, Atlanta Braves baseball, and all things Washington, D.C.