by Jeff Cranston

(Fourth of a four-part series on Living Relationally)

In 2024, living as a single or single-again Christian presents unique challenges, as does addressing the needs of singles within our churches. Single Christians include a wide range of individuals, from never-married young adults to widows and divorcees. According to the Current Population Survey, 69% of single adults in the US have never married, 19% are divorced, and over 11% are widowed. Let's dispel three common myths about marriage and singleness.

Myth 1: Marriage is the God-Ordained Lifestyle

Many believe that God prefers couples over singles, based on the creation story where God said it is not good for man to be alone, and verses like Proverbs 18:22. Churches often focus on families, further reinforcing this belief. However, this implies that singles are less approved by God, which isn't true. Jesus and the Apostle Paul, two of the most significant figures in Christianity, were single.

Biblical Truth: Singleness Allows for Undivided Devotion to God

For some, singleness is a God-ordained lifestyle that enables undivided devotion to God. The Apostle Paul calls singleness a special blessing, saying in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, "I wish everyone were single, just as I am... it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am." Singles can focus solely on pleasing the Lord, free from the divided interests that come with marriage.

Myth 2: My Life + Someone Else = Happiness

The media often perpetuates the myth that finding the right partner will bring happiness. This leads many to believe that marriage is the key to a fulfilling life. However, true contentment comes from within, not from another person.

Biblical Truth: Contentment Does Not Depend on Someone Else

Contentment is an internal quality. The Apostle Paul teaches in Philippians 4:11-13 that contentment comes from relying on Christ, saying, "I have learned how to be content with whatever I have... For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." True contentment comes from knowing Christ will be there in every situation, whether married or single.

Myth 3: Singleness Produces Loneliness, While Marriage Produces Intimacy

There is a common misconception that single people are lonely and married people are not. However, the presence of a spouse does not guarantee intimacy or eliminate loneliness.

Biblical Truth: A Lack of Intimacy Produces Loneliness

Loneliness stems from a lack of intimacy, which can only be truly fulfilled in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Mother Teresa said, "The biggest disease today is not leprosy or cancer. It is the feeling of being uncared for, unwanted, of being deserted and alone." Hebrews 13:5 assures us, "I will never desert you; nor will I forsake you," reminding us that with Christ, we are never alone.

Embracing Singleness and Serving Others

Singles, celebrate where God has you right now. Live a life of undivided devotion to the Lord, using your gifts and time to glorify God and serve others. Make the most of every opportunity because the time is short. By debunking these myths, we can better support and understand the unique journeys of single Christians, fostering a more inclusive and spiritually enriching community for all.

Watch the full message below.

Pastor Jeff Cranston is the Lead Pastor at LowCountry Community Church.