Sometimes relationships are messy, but Jesus specializes in messy, broken people. Unfortunately, many people don’t view divorce as a problem and in so doing, have deeply devalued marriage. God wants us to recover and demonstrate a biblical understanding of the covenant of marriage. 

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KEY VERSES

MATTHEW 19:1-9 (NASB)

1 When Jesus had finished these words, He departed from Galilee and came into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; 2 and large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.3 Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female,5 and said, ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” 7 They *said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning, it has not been this way. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

UNDERSTANDING

• Have you ever been in a contract you wanted to get out of (think cable, cell phone service, etc.)? Why did you want to get out of it? Were you able to? Why or why not?

• In what ways does our culture treat marriage like these kinds of contracts?

• When was the first time the problem or pain of divorce impacted you on a personal level?

• What portion of the Old Testament did Jesus cite in his response to the Pharisee’s question (vv. 5-6; see Gen. 1:27; 2:24)? What does that tell you about Jesus’ view of marriage?

• How did Jesus’ attitude about divorce differ from our culture’s?\

• What is the difference between a covenant and a contract?

• Read Deuteronomy 24:1-4. How was Moses’ allowance for divorce being misused by the people of Jesus’ day?

• What reason did Jesus cite for the practice of giving a woman a “certificate of divorce” at that time (v. 8)? What inner quality was Jesus seeking instead (vv. 8-9)? How did this raise expectations for His followers?

• What exception did Jesus give for divorce?

• Read 1 Corinthians 7:10-16. What exception did Paul give? Despite this exception, how did Paul encourage believers to live with unbelieving spouses?

• Read Exodus 21:10-11. What exception did Moses give?

• From a human perspective, marriages end all of the time and often end as means to pursuing greater happiness. Why does God take the marriage commitment so seriously? Does this mean He doesn’t want us to be happy? Explain.

• If you are not married, what can you take away from this instruction?

• What punishment did the crowd want for the adulterous woman? Why?

• We’ve seen how Jesus’ view of marriage is different than culture’s. From this passage, how is Jesus’ view of a broken marriage different than culture’s view?

• How did Jesus’ words empower the woman?

• What does this encounter with Jesus teach you about the way Jesus would have you relate to broken, messy people with broken, messy marriages?

APPLICATION

• Considering that the cultural standard around us is far from God’s, how can we cultivate and maintain a biblical view of marriage?

• As a group, how can we encourage each other to look to Jesus for power over shame in broken and messy relationships?

• If you are married, what steps can you take to strengthen your marriage relationship? If you are not married, how does today’s text speak to your relationships?

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