Relationships are complicated because we are broken people who live in a broken world. Singleness is not a burden but a gift from God. God wants you to make the most of your singleness, or whatever situation you find yourself in, to the glory of God.

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KEY VERSES

1 CORINTHIANS 7:7-8 (NASB)

7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:27-28 (NASB)

27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.

1 CORINTHIANS 7:32-34 (NASB)

32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife,34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

PHILIPPIANS 4:11-13 (NASB)

11 Not that I speak]from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. 13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

JOHN 4:1-26 (NASB)

Jesus Goes to Galilee

1 Therefore when the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John 2 (although Jesus Himself was not baptizing, but His disciples were), 3 He left Judea and went away again into Galilee. 4 And He had to pass through Samaria. 5 So He *came to a city of Samaria called Sychar, near the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph; 6 and Jacob’s well was there. So Jesus, being wearied from His journey, was sitting thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour.

The Woman of Samaria

7 There *came a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus *said to her, “Give Me a drink.” 8 For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. 9 Therefore the Samaritan woman *said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me for a drink since I am a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) 10 Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” 11 She *said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep; where then do You get that living water? 12 You are not greater than our father Jacob, are You, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself and his sons and his cattle?” 13 Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

15 The woman *said to Him, “Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.” 16 He *said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” 17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus *said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.” 19 The woman *said to Him, “Sir, I perceive that You are a prophet.20 Our fathers worshiped in this mountain, and you people say that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship.” 21 Jesus *said to her, “Woman, believe Me, an hour is coming when neither in this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. 22 You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. 24 God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” 25 The woman *said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming (He who is called Christ); when that One comes, He will declare all things to us.” 26 Jesus *said to her, “I who speak to you am He.”

UNDERSTANDING

• What is your favorite thing to do when you have a day to yourself? 

• When you have time on your hands, are you more likely to do something productive or waste it? Explain.  

• When or in what context would you say you have felt the most freedom in your life?  

• What was Paul’s perspective on singleness?  

• Do you tend to view singleness as a gift? Why or why not?   

• What do you see as the main differences between a Christian view of singleness and a non-Christian view?  

• Why did Paul say God has ordained a season of singleness for every person?  

• What does it mean in this context to be “free from concern”? 

• Singleness offers freedom that married life doesn’t. How does devotion to the Lord look different during a season of singleness?  

• In what ways does marriage detract from the freedom to serve the Lord?  

• What pursuit, other than Jesus, have you been tempted to focus on because of the freedom found in singleness? 

• In your own words, what was Paul’s encouragement to people here, whether married or single? 

• If my life plus someone else does not equal happiness, then why do so many people continue to think and act as though a change in relationship status will make them happy? 

• Read Philippians 4:11-13. What is the “secret” to being content? How does this truth speak to single people? To married people?  

• What happens when we seek our identity and contentment in relationship with other people instead of with Christ?   

• Have you seen this thirst in people who were looking to satisfy themselves with something only the Lord can satisfy? What does an unhealthy thirst look like in the context of a relationship? 

• By contrast, what does it look like to thirst for the purposes and priorities of the Lord? 

APPLICATION

• We discussed the following truths in this week’s message: For some people, singleness is the God-ordained lifestyle, because singleness allows for undivided devotion to God. Life is good and bad no matter which side of the matrimonial fence you are on. Contentment does not depend on someone else. Being alone is not what produces loneliness; a lack of intimacy does, and our deepest intimacy needs can only be met in a relationship with Christ. Which of these stood out to you most personally? Explain your answer. 

• Regardless of your marital status, what opportunities for serving the Lord do you have in your life right now that you may never have again? 

• We were given two points of application: Start living right now, and use your singleness as a way to serve. What would it look like for you to start living right now in the way Paul described in 1 Corinthians 7 and Philippians 4:11-13?  

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