Forgiveness

To have a healthy marriage, you have to learn to forgive.

KEY VERSES

Luke 17:1-5 (NASB)

1 Now He said to His disciples, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to one through whom they come! 2 It is better for him if a millstone is hung around his neck and he is thrown into the sea, than that he may cause one of these little ones to sin. 3 Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” 5 The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

Psalm 103:10-12 (NASB)

10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our guilty deeds. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our wrongdoings from us.

Ephesians 4:32 (NASB)

32 Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

1 John 1:9 (NASB)

9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

UNDERSTANDING

  • Generally speaking, would you say your memory is good or bad? How would others who know you well answer that question?

  • Who remembers the name of one of their elementary school teachers? What is the earliest memory you have of a family trip or a birthday present you received? How good were you at taking tests in school?

  • Do you remember being hurt by someone when you were younger? Why do you think it is so hard for us to remember things we learned in school, but easy for us to remember when people have hurt us?

  • How is an unwillingness to offer forgiveness tied to sin in our lives?

  • Why do you think Jesus said to “Be on your guard”? Why is a spirit of unforgiveness something we need to keep watch for?

  • Can you relate to the response of the disciples in verse 5? Explain.

  • In this week’s message, Pastor Bobby said that forgiveness isn’t fair. Specifically, how does Psalm 103:10-12 express this principle?

  • Why is it so much easier for us to accept God’s forgiveness than it is to extend forgiveness to other people?

  • Pastor Bobby also pointed out that forgiveness is not forgetting. He explained that you can forgive and still walk away or need time to rebuild trust. How does this fact encourage you in your struggle to forgive someone who has hurt you?

  • Based on the phrase, “He removed our wrongdoings from us” (v. 12), is forgiveness some- thing that happens easily or does it inherently involve a determined choice? Explain.

  • According to Paul, forgiveness is to be a key character trait in our relationships with others. Why is forgiveness important?

  • How is forgiveness a reflection of God’s love for us?

  • If forgiveness matters so much to God, then what do we communicate to Him when we hold grudges or stack up offenses against our spouse?

  • Paul tells us to forgive one another “just as God also forgave you in Christ.” What are some things that could change in your marriage if you keep the cross at the forefront of your mind?

  • God knows our sins before we ever say them out loud, so what is the purpose of confession?

  • According to John in 1 John 1:9, what does God promise to do when we confess our sins?

  • How does the truth of 1 John 1:9 help you better understand the importance of seeking forgiveness from your spouse?

APPLICATION

  • What was the most impactful point for you from this week’s message and study? Explain.

  • Why is forgiveness such an important part of our marriages? What do we experience when there is a lack of forgiveness?

  • We are all in this together. What are some practical ways we can encourage each other toward a life of confession and forgiveness?

  • Pastor Bobby pointed out that sometimes the toughest person to forgive is yourself. What does it look like when a person stops trying to achieve forgiveness and starts receiving forgiveness? In what ways do you struggle with this in your own relationship with the Lord?

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